Through Her Eyes
by UnexplainableTendencies
Summary: First chapter edited. Hermione finds herself alone when Harry and Ron leave her after the fall of Voldemort. She decides to finally take her life into her own hands. Mostly Draco/Hermione but some Ginny/Harry and Lavender/Ron
1. Nervous for the New Year

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the places, people, or things mentioned other than the plot.

In my sixth year at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry something dawned on me that would change my life. Rather I realized two things: my best friends had basically deserted me for their girlfriends when Voldemort was defeated, and I was too good to be wasting my time and energy worrying about it.

Now, as the first day approaches again, I stand in front of my mirror in my bedroom at home, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. My mother is seated at the end of my bed, examining my fragile attitude through her eyes.

She notices my restlessness and asks, "Hermione, dear, I haven't seen you like this since…since we got your first letter, why so nervous?"

I smile an easy smile, one that will fool her and satisfy her need to break down my carefully placed barriers.

"Just first day jitters, Mum. Nothing to worry about, as always." I lie through my teeth – no longer buck-toothed but straight and pearly white. She must believe me because she hugs me then leaves. I look at myself in the mirror one last time, taking in my untamable hair, too-curvy figure, and mud colored eyes.

_Mud. Mudblood. Malfoy. Brace yourself!_ My mind screams as another realization hits me like a train. I will have to face _him_ by myself, or essentially by myself. _Maybe he'll leave me alone since I've gotten Headgirl._ I fool myself into believing this, knowing he wouldn't change if I were the bloody Headmistress!

My watch beeps. It beeps again and I raise my wrist to my face. _Damn, 10:30 already?_ Thirty minutes. That's all I have to put a permanent smile on my face and push my emotions into the back of my mind for safe-keeping until the end of this year. I sigh. This will be difficult. A frown carves my mouth into a hard line as I realize once again that Harry and Ron will be with Ginny and Lavender while I am alone. Like I have been since last Christmas. Like I have been all summer. Like I will be for this new year.

"Hermione, dearest! Are you…oh, I can't remember what it's called…Are you disappearing, or are we taking you?" My father calls up the stairs and I almost laugh. Time and time again I've told him: _It's Apparate, Dad. Like Ap-AH-rate. _And he still doesn't get it.

I take a deep breath and open my door to reply. "I'm _Apparating, _we don't have enough time to drive." He looks sad for a moment, but then places a smile much like my own on his face.

"Alright, honey. Come say goodbye. You've only got about fifteen minutes left so you'd better hurry." I levitate my trunk down to him, glad that at last I can use magic outside of school, and my parents crush me into a hug. I can't breath, but I don't care. These two people love me and would never leave me for something as stupid as a new makeout toy. I smile to myself as I picture the three of us together and lock it in my mind. I never want to forget how much they love lack of air becomes uncomfortable and they release me; choosing instead to kiss me on the cheeks and cry.

I hate when they cry. I hate when anyone cries. And then I'm crying too. Not for them, but for me. Because I haven't cried in months. I haven't smiled for real in at least a year. I have to stop, I've got to leave them here and go to the hell that's my supposedly wondrous life.

I pull away, whispering that I love them and promising to write. They nod and my mother hands me the bag of galleons, sickles, and knuts that we traded in all of muggle money in to get. I concentrate on seeing the scarlet red of the Hogwarts Express in my head and suddenly feel as if my stomach is being shoved into my throat and all the oxygen is sucked from my lungs.

The sounds of voices and the train whistling reach my ears and I can smell the smoke fumes that assault my nose. I cough and sputter, then open my eyes and I am surrounded by the students I have grown up with and new ones I don't know.

Dean Thomas waves at me and Seamus does too. _Smile, Hermione. Remember, no one's going to know how much you're suffering. Smile! _I tell myself this for the thousandth time. I've been faking for so long, lying has started to come naturally to me, a sure sign that somewhere along the way I've lost the Hermione I used to be. I put the biggest and also most fake smile I can muster on my lips and wave back to the two best friends.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, so how'd you like it? This is MY first story, btw. I'm BW. The other stories are from BL. I do mostly HP or Twilight fanfics. Please review, I would like to know your response to the story. Thanks for reading!


	2. Namecalling Gets You No Where

I see a flash of red hair in the crowd, probably one of the nine Weasley's. Part of me wants to run and hide, but I know that I cannot show how hurt I am, how weak, so I force my feet to move in the direction of the flash of red. There they are. All of them, including Harry and Lavender, hugging and laughing, not even looking for me. I decide here that I will not let them do this to me. No, I will not be deserted. I am deserting them. That's what I'll tell everyone when they ask why the Golden Trio have become the Duo plus the Bimbo and Weasley's Sister.

I move on to put my trunk in the luggage car and head to the Headmaster's compartment to finally meet the Headboy. Dumbledore is seated in a purple wing-back chair, drinking tea and staring dreamily into space when I walk in and he smiles at me.

"Do tell, Miss Granger, why so sad?" He asks. Of course he can tell something is wrong, but I deny it, for the first time not wanting to confide in the cheerful old man. My face hurts from the non-stop smiling and I want nothing more than to lock myself in a compartment and die.

Dumbledore nods, accepting that I do not wish to talk about it and motions for me to sit opposite him. I do, though my is ramrod straight, my legs are crossed tightly, and my hands are clasped together so tightly that my knuckles turn white.

"Congratulations on becoming Headgirl, Miss Granger. Now, if only our Headboy would join us-" At this moment the door slams open and closed and a very out-of-breath blonde Slytherin stands before us. _No! Draco-sodding-Malfoy __**cannot**__ be Headboy! No way, not in a billion years! Oh God..._

He sits next to me. Too close and so I move away. Malfoy notices but says nothing.

"Oh good! As I was saying, congratulations to the both of you on receiving this honor. There is much work, as can be expected, but also many privileges that come with being Headstudents." Dumbledore pauses and pulls several sheets of parchment from a desk behind him. "Here are your time tables, responsibilities and privileges, and Hogsmeade passes. You may use these passes anytime after classes as long as someone is with you. If you decide to go with someone besides each other- which I'm sure you will- that student must be approved by another teacher. Do you have any questions?" A million bubble into my mind but I keep silent, shaking my head.

For the first time Malfoy speaks, "We have new dorms, right?"

I snap out of my dazed state at this, eager to hear Dumbledore's answer.

"Yes, you do. Your two bedrooms are separate, of course, and you share a bathroom as well as the common room and a balcony. After the feast, Professors Snape and McGonagall will show you where the Head dormitory is. Oh!, and if you need it, there is a compartment just a few down from this one that you may use; just in case you want to begin early on your duties." He directs the last statement to me and I smile slightly, finally the thrill of a new year hits me.

The two of us thank the Headmaster and turn to leave, but he calls me over again. "Miss Granger, would you mind asking Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley to meet me here as soon as possible?"

The nearly non-existent smile vanishes from my face and I have to close my eyes to reply so that I can concentrate on not crying.

"No, sir. I cannot. Harry, Ronald, and I aren't speaking at the moment. It's their choice not mine, and I'd rather not initiate conversation with them. I'm sorry, Headmaster. Have a nice day." I turn on my heel and practically run from the room. My head is down and tears are running freely so my vision is blurred and I do not see the person standing in my path.

I smack into them so hard that I fall backward, landing painfully on my ass.

"Walk much, Granger?" The cool voice of my new counterpart says to me. I glare up at Malfoy, whose smirk disappears the second I do.

"Excuse me, Ferret. I'll try to watch out for annoying buggers like you the next time I'm crying my eyes out and can't fucking see!" I stand up and try to shove past him, but he blocks me.

"Ahhh, did the Golden boys finally get tired of screwing the Mudblood and move on to better sluts?" He whispers maliciously. I can't take this anymore and I let my hand fly, slapping him so hard he stumbles.

"Shut up! First of all, I'm a virgin! Secondly, they did find someone better than me! Are you happy now? Does it make you feel good to torment me with that horrid name? Maybe I should come up with a foul name for purebloods just so you know how it feels!" I know I sound childish but I could care less. I succeed in shoving past him and then stomp down the hallway to the Heads compartment. Flopping down onto an overly cushioned seat, I begin to cry again.

Month's of pent up emotions explode in a rush and I can't keep them in any longer. I cry and cry and cry until finally I fall asleep from utter exhaustion.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry the chapters aren't long. I will probably have a new chapter up tomorrow. Let me know what you think if you get a chance. Thanks, BW.


End file.
